Hi, I’m Khushbakht Aisha,
Born in Islamabad , 4th
January 1985. Pakistan.
A professional painter,
teaching fine arts in 55 main , Lahore grammar school.(painting ,
sculpture, and other related
fields of arts .
What is actually painting for me!
"What is actually painting
for me? Quiet a tough question indeed!
And Moo raised this question again and I am the one who already once had
so many questions.
Once had question what I want be in my life?
Then came across to question. How, when and why?
And now to write about?
So one thing is clear our life is full of questions, question of
survival, soul thirst for color, piercing ideas how can became reality
and so much more thought provoking.
Good question though:)
The question which made my life more restless when at one point I
realized I cant be a doctor but a painter certainly a painter but why ??
This question made me to think n showed me true self of me!
When I was a girl of 9 years old always wanted to be a Doctor, ahemmmm
Never knew what was my destiny already had written for me; As a kid I
possessed a very happy, excited and restless soul , who can easily get
delighted by the rain drops, whooshing sounds of rain made me so
imaginative n impulsive , glistening surface of pettles’ were so
tempting to me, as a big nature lover , learned about lights and darks
through cloudy days how they covered sun for sometime and then get
vanished. loves to do cycling on narrow paths of mud sometimes around
trees rows it was always a beautiful site to me helped me knowing the
differences between far and near, I enjoyed being going there never knew
when ill grow up will paint them as they are because at that time I just
drew irregular shapes of them n they seems really fantastic to me ,
their charismatic site wants me to dance with them n I did by singing to
loud songs on top of my lungs, composing my new own songs had really
good fun somebody inside me always said; OH! Khushbakht, there's lot
more for you just stay wait and watch , in bright sunny days of winter
creating my own shadows by standing against of sun light , pushed me to
draw myself ,chirping sounds of birds helped me in knowing the inner
voices of tones, florescent tones of scapes pushed to pick paints , Once
I wept and found a very hazy blurred site it helped me knowing about
misty effects more tears collected more knew about blurriness ,Summer
nights always made me wonder why stars are so sparkling white and joined
them together to made faces by counting them I used to sleep , used to
see my reflections in rainy puddles on roads and wanted to paint but
couldn’t come up to draw because always somebody jumped in that n
splashed away the reflection and I always missed my site but actually
that was the time when I was experiencing and observing world through my
own eyes for first time, they stayed and stucked inside me and became a
seasons of my inner years. They gradually became mature and transformed
in solid forms. Time of quest and transformation well its still On.
Tried drawing little little things practicing everyday, made things out
of clay, did Origami worked with play dough experienced wood carving but
found true relaxation in painting it was like something I always wanted!
loves to cling on trees like monkeys during summer noon’s, clingy nature
helped me in observing the different perspectives, love for flowers
helped me in making n
knowing details of petals, I used to press them in books to make scrap
cards, squeeze the fruits n use their pulp as a color, helped me in
understanding of textures, used moms old makeup especially nail paints
worked with them in my paintings, soups as one of my fav. medium.
Once I was feeling so lethargic used my saliva despite of water n made
Vase showed to my granny she kissed n said beautiful when I told her how
I ve made she laughed and said anything I can expect from you :)
My life canvas was not so painted through experiences had nothing much
just had sparkling colors of seasons, fleshy tones of butterflies, gaily
laughter’s of friends, enchanted mother love, fathers affection,
brotherly love n sisterly gossips. Had almost everything what a girl of
9 or 10 years needed.
With time answers come to my ways but challenge of becoming a doc was
still there so I took science and in it I found myself more interested
in anatomy, botony instead of chemistry n algebra. Didn’t ve courage to
do dissections always appreciate the actual things so it revealed on me
what I ve to be!
Took a part in art competitions n realized where is real soothness n
which can give me true refreshing laugh of soul. I told mom she gifted
me paper n colors n ask me to paint something n when ill be back I want
to u to come up with your best painting and do draw or paint all which
you ever longed for so I painted a"" Hut"" with long trees and
surrounded with bushes , few sheep’s and some flowers, would be quiet
funny for those who are trained artist but she didn’t judge me despite
of that encouraged me and said no wonder you are excellent never thought
you could make something this much good she appreciated n picked minute
details of my work n for her that was awesome then she encouraged me by
giving me more colors n papers although we were not very well to do to
buy all but she had a deal with me make good I will provide you very
good stuff I don’t know whether I made good or not but she had always
given me best painting material of the market, gradually family knew
about my passion encouraged and gifted me always with different painting
stuff whatever they saw in market but the biggest gift I always got was
encouragement, my granny thought someday I would be something grand in
my life my uncle he always sent me finest paper of market. This was
beginning.….….….…. Still something was missing inside me n that’s made
me gloomy I asked questions to myself what I want but there was always
no answer just a deep dark silence.. Hummmm
Time by time things became more constipated n hard for me to understand
n few years back I realized my questions getting into shape of my
paintings my thoughts took place as my paintings and it seemed my
expression now can easily portray on paper so whatever I ve made is
actually my questions I like to talk not as much I like to paint or
draw. I ve dairy no one can understand because either what one can see
only drawings and nothing just can show only my moods with what I went
through. Mostly I drew my dreams , my experiences it helped me in
becoming humble n sober, ate my negativity n transformed me in positive
being ,for me art is not just an art drawing it’s a therapy which is
having a power of healing ,soothing n relaxation.
My dense forest can show my intense love ,thick bright colors can show
my limitlessness of mind, lines can show im completely beyond boundaries
they all can show my different aspects and true tones of life. For me my
soul is just a pack of colors n its hunger for painting can never get to
My rains are actually my tears, clouds are cover of my soul, bright
lights are search of truth. My paintings are just reflection of my soul.
My eyes ll whatever my eyes ll see my soul ll feel n my fingers ll draw,
so this was actually my destiny t b a painter. There was always some
grand power around me I just ve to think n that power helped me in
making that after getting done by that I always wonder did I make it so
trust yourself n let yourself to float on a big canvas of life someday
the colors of your true soul ll tell u what you are, just keep on asking
questions to yourself what you want? Someday answer ll b there! "
So good luck
Khushbakht Aisha, Pakistan
Spirited Away, by