KHUSHBAKHT AISHA

Hi, I’m Khushbakht Aisha,

Born in Islamabad , 4th January 1985.  Pakistan.

A professional painter, teaching fine arts in 55 main , Lahore grammar school.(painting , sculpture,  and other related fields of arts .
What is actually painting for me!

"What is actually painting for me? Quiet a tough question indeed!
And Moo raised this question again and I am the one who already once had so many questions.
Once had question what I want be in my life?
Then came across to question. How, when and why?
And now to write about?
So one thing is clear our life is full of questions, question of survival, soul thirst for color, piercing ideas how can became reality and so much more thought provoking.
Good question though:)
The question which made my life more restless when at one point I realized I cant be a doctor but a painter certainly a painter but why ?? This question made me to think n showed me true self of me!
When I was a girl of 9 years old always wanted to be a Doctor, ahemmmm Never knew what was my destiny already had written for me; As a kid I possessed a very happy, excited and restless soul , who can easily get delighted by the rain drops, whooshing sounds of rain made me so imaginative n impulsive , glistening surface of pettles’ were so tempting to me, as a big nature lover , learned about lights and darks through cloudy days how they covered sun for sometime and then get vanished. loves to do cycling on narrow paths of mud sometimes around trees rows it was always a beautiful site to me helped me knowing the differences between far and near, I enjoyed being going there never knew when ill grow up will paint them as they are because at that time I just drew irregular shapes of them n they seems really fantastic to me , their charismatic site wants me to dance with them n I did by singing to loud songs on top of my lungs, composing my new own songs had really good fun somebody inside me always said; OH! Khushbakht, there's lot more for you just stay wait and watch , in bright sunny days of winter creating my own shadows by standing against of sun light , pushed me to draw myself ,chirping sounds of birds helped me in knowing the inner voices of tones, florescent tones of scapes pushed to pick paints , Once I wept and found a very hazy blurred site it helped me knowing about misty effects more tears collected more knew about blurriness ,Summer nights always made me wonder why stars are so sparkling white and joined them together to made faces by counting them I used to sleep , used to see my reflections in rainy puddles on roads and wanted to paint but couldn’t come up to draw because always somebody jumped in that n splashed away the reflection and I always missed my site but actually that was the time when I was experiencing and observing world through my own eyes for first time, they stayed and stucked inside me and became a seasons of my inner years. They gradually became mature and transformed in solid forms. Time of quest and transformation well its still On.
Tried drawing little little things practicing everyday, made things out of clay, did Origami worked with play dough experienced wood carving but found true relaxation in painting it was like something I always wanted! loves to cling on trees like monkeys during summer noon’s, clingy nature helped me in observing the different perspectives, love for flowers collection

helped me in making n knowing details of petals, I used to press them in books to make scrap cards, squeeze the fruits n use their pulp as a color, helped me in understanding of textures, used moms old makeup especially nail paints worked with them in my paintings, soups as one of my fav. medium.
Once I was feeling so lethargic used my saliva despite of water n made Vase showed to my granny she kissed n said beautiful when I told her how I ve made she laughed and said anything I can expect from you :)
My life canvas was not so painted through experiences had nothing much just had sparkling colors of seasons, fleshy tones of butterflies, gaily laughter’s of friends, enchanted mother love, fathers affection, brotherly love n sisterly gossips. Had almost everything what a girl of 9 or 10 years needed.
With time answers come to my ways but challenge of becoming a doc was still there so I took science and in it I found myself more interested in anatomy, botony instead of chemistry n algebra. Didn’t ve courage to do dissections always appreciate the actual things so it revealed on me what I ve to be!
Took a part in art competitions n realized where is real soothness n which can give me true refreshing laugh of soul. I told mom she gifted me paper n colors n ask me to paint something n when ill be back I want to u to come up with your best painting and do draw or paint all which you ever longed for so I painted a"" Hut"" with long trees and surrounded with bushes , few sheep’s and some flowers, would be quiet funny for those who are trained artist but she didn’t judge me despite of that encouraged me and said no wonder you are excellent never thought you could make something this much good she appreciated n picked minute details of my work n for her that was awesome then she encouraged me by giving me more colors n papers although we were not very well to do to buy all but she had a deal with me make good I will provide you very good stuff I don’t know whether I made good or not but she had always given me best painting material of the market, gradually family knew about my passion encouraged and gifted me always with different painting stuff whatever they saw in market but the biggest gift I always got was encouragement, my granny thought someday I would be something grand in my life my uncle he always sent me finest paper of market. This was beginning.….….….…. Still something was missing inside me n that’s made me gloomy I asked questions to myself what I want but there was always no answer just a deep dark silence.. Hummmm
Time by time things became more constipated n hard for me to understand n few years back I realized my questions getting into shape of my paintings my thoughts took place as my paintings and it seemed my expression now can easily portray on paper so whatever I ve made is actually my questions I like to talk not as much I like to paint or draw. I ve dairy no one can understand because either what one can see only drawings and nothing just can show only my moods with what I went through. Mostly I drew my dreams , my experiences it helped me in becoming humble n sober, ate my negativity n transformed me in positive being ,for me art is not just an art drawing it’s a therapy which is having a power of healing ,soothing n relaxation.
My dense forest can show my intense love ,thick bright colors can show my limitlessness of mind, lines can show im completely beyond boundaries they all can show my different aspects and true tones of life. For me my soul is just a pack of colors n its hunger for painting can never get to an end.
My rains are actually my tears, clouds are cover of my soul, bright lights are search of truth. My paintings are just reflection of my soul. My eyes ll whatever my eyes ll see my soul ll feel n my fingers ll draw, so this was actually my destiny t b a painter. There was always some grand power around me I just ve to think n that power helped me in making that after getting done by that I always wonder did I make it so trust yourself n let yourself to float on a big canvas of life someday the colors of your true soul ll tell u what you are, just keep on asking questions to yourself what you want? Someday answer ll b there! "

 So good luck !

Khushbakht Aisha, Pakistan